Ms. Whip

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Posts by Ms. Whip

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  10

  Rapture...Help needed to explain.

  by Little Bo Peep in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  recently my daughter-in-law asked me about the "rapture".

  her employer has scared her with thoughts of driving along the highway and taken to heaven, leaving an empty car...accidents...etc, etc.. i looked up the scriptures referenced in the niv, but don't quite know how to answer her.

  i'm pretty sure that explanation is not logical, at least to me.

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  Ms. Whip

  Hi Little Bo Peep,

  ...apart from a few songs that popped into my head ..."going up to the spirit in the sky..." and blondie's rap debut to name a couple. I really don't know much about the rapture.

  Witnesses don't teach it or believe it. Well, they once did, but now they don't.

  99.8% of witnesses don't have to worry about the "rapture" because they are non-anointed so the word doesn't apply to them.

  The rapture is a touchy subject. It makes an atheist sigh in boredom and a born-again's blood bubble over in orgasm.

  There's lots of debate online about it.

  Basically, it's about god picking a few people out (literally) and saying they should live while the rest of the world dies.

  ...anyway, if you do get caught up in the rapture,

  can i have all your stuff?

  (lame ole joke, but couldn't resist)

  good luck w/the answers

  ps. if someone is scaring you into religion run the other way
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  25

  JUMPIN JESUS! HE'S HERE!

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  .

  if this graphic isn't jumping, click here: www.jcnot4me.com .

  and scroll to the bottom of the page.

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  Ms. Whip

  another sneaky little ploy to advertise, advertise, advertise

  nate's

  bald head

  new lease on life

  viagra trial

  book

  lol
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  69

  PROGRAMED – working out the dark side in art

  by seven006 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i havent posted much lately becausewell just because.

  in the past year i have tried .

  to start my conversion from commercial art to fine art doing mostly nudes.

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  Ms. Whip

  Dave,

  I haven't read all the replies on this thread yet. I will give you my initial reaction to "programmed."

  It had a deep, immediate effect on me. On a purely instinctive level, it pulled emotion out of me like a magnet. In a flash of a few seconds, I felt pain, hurt, betrayal, manipulation and anger. Forgive my grossities, but I felt an infectious pus burst forth from within. This imagined puss welled up in my eyes as tears. You have created a spectacular image depicting the prison of my mind. It is powerful. The darkness of your art is not necesarily the image you have created, but the effect that image has on the viewer's mind. The greater the manipulation has been the darker your image appears. The female & male manipulators illustrated caught me off guard. The betrayal of trust is beyond gender, beyond family ties. The jagged background, the permenant head wounds and the finalized nails were dramatic.

  Art is a flat lifeless nothing until it produces an emotion. "programmed" not only produced an emotional response from me but, manifested into a real physical reaction. Well done!

  ~whip
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  14

  ask a silly question...

  by Ellie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been playing this on another forum and its loads of fun so thought you guys might enjoy it too... a person asks a question, any question at all, and the poster below answers it, any way they like.

  then they ask a question of their own.. i'll start, .

  why do you crave junk food when you have a hangover?

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  Ms. Whip

  In a Harvard University Humor Study, Midgets and Dwarves ranked highest in the "funniest group of people" rating...a whopping 96% approval. The study involved thousands of interviews of people across the country with the purpose of determining the most amusing categories of humans. “Midgets and dwarves topped the list because they appeal to an inherent desire of tall people,” said Dr. Nathaniel Neville III, the head of the committee. “A desire to see midgets and dwarves dancing around in funny costumes.”

  Top 10 Funniest Things Midgets and Dwarves Do Source: Harvard University Humor Committee, 2001
  1. Wear children's clothing	6. Try to jump to get things held up high by tall people
  2. Fight each other	7. Fight tall people
  3. Dance	8. Dress like tall people
  4. Impersonate tall celebrities	9. Stand
  5. Play basketball	10. Climb onto chairs for tall people

  Monkeys are funny because they are monkeys!!!

  Q: How dumb do you have to be to be considered retarded?
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  23

  What do you feel is truly and absolutely IMPOSSIBLE?

  by AlmostAtheist in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a friend of mine told me tonight that he believes something is impossible.

  this happens to be a something that i feel is not only possible, but 100% proven beyond all doubt.

  interesting.

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  Ms. Whip

  to borrow another post from another forum...

  __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  Is it true that nothing is impossible just improbable?
  The only way to state that nothing is impossible with any accuracy, or authority, would be if you knew everything.
  
  If nothing were impossible, then it would be impossible for something to be impossible. If that sounds strange or complicated, look at it this way - - contradictions can create impossible circumstances. The very nature of a rule that makes all things possible, rules out anything being impossible, thus creating an impossiblity by its own existence. The term "impossible" means that something can't exist. If all things were possible then there "can't" be anything that is impossible, and that makes the statement impossible by contradiction.
  
  A famous analogy is to ask a person who believes in God, "can God do everything?" If the answer is no, then there is something impossible for God. If the answer is yes, then inquire, "can God can make a rock." If the answer is no, then there is an impossiblity. If the answer is yes, then ask one more question, "can God build a rock bigger than he can lift. A "yes" answer means that God can not lift every rock (there's your impossibility). A "no" answer means that God can lift every rock, but it is impossible for God to make a rock bigger than he can lift. Either way, you have an impossible set of circumstances.

  ________________________________________________________________________________________

  My answer was going to be...

  It is impossible to fit a size 10 foot into a strappy size 6 stiletto.

  but, then I thought about it...and there's liposuction, reduction surgery, gangrene, diabetes, toe removal or amputation. *ew*

  so, it's really not impossible...just gross!
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  33

  THE CHEESE CRACKER MEN - R - Defined

  by JT in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  jt, .

  i normally understand everything you write, and get what you mean, but i have been trying to figure out your cheese cracker men expression?

  danny.

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  Ms. Whip

  haha you guys crack me up.

  Relegated to handing out the meager 'samples' the society alot's them to do, they must alway's put on a good show for the customer's.....cutting the 'cheese'.........but let any customer (publisher) question the origin or value of the freebee, said 'Cracker'(s) will remind them that they are 'princes' not really 'Cracker's', and if a customer is bold enough to suggest the 'cracker's" are stale, and the 'cheese' is smelly, the 'Cracker's' rip thier aprons off, serving no more.....chasing the customer down the aisles.. with mounting 'righteous indignation' cornering the customer in the back stock room.....where the Cheese and Cracker men transform into 'security guards' with an attitude.......... poor customer just wanted to know why the cheese smelled funny!!!!!!!!!

  Did I get the point.....or am I just drunk?

  when i read the thread title, i got a little hungry...then I read danny's inebriated response and lost my coffee.

  this thread is priceless.

  -ms. whip

  *going out for cheese whiz*

  
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  42

  exjw, is there a script

  by carla in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  is there any one scripture (or more) that really suprised you once you took the wt glasses off and just read the bible as is, without all the extra literature?

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  Ms. Whip

  Ephesians 2:8-9 (New International Version) 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. ------- This one through me for a loop. When I stopped going to meetings, I looked at this scripture in a whole new light. (pardon the pun) I wondered why the word "grace" is not a Jehovah's Witness word. It's almost like saying "the lord" or using jesus' name too often. This scripture says a person can be saved through faith. This is the exact opposite of what I had been taught all my life as a witness. As a witness I was taught that you had to have "works" to back up faith to be saved. The Witnesses were able to stuff so many JW requirements in to that little word "works." But, that scripture clearly states that salvation is a gift. You don't do anything for a gift...it's just given to you. This scripture made me think a few things. First, I thought hey! why do the witnesses make people do back flips to be saved??? So many meetings, field service, rules, rules, rules. It made me doubt the witnesses. Like they used the Bible for their selfish reasons and not the way it was intended. Second, I thought...if there are scriptures that completely contradict this scripture it made me doubt the bible...examples: (Phil. 2:12 "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.") (Jas 2:17 "Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.") That one scripture gave me a lot to think about. First I was happy to find out that you don't need to go to meetings or field service to be saved. Then I was angry that the Witnesses had tricked me all my life. Then I was hurt to find out that the Bible had also tricked me all my life. In any event, I was glad to have spotted that one scripture on my way out. If you're interested in going round in circles....here's some more information:
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  17

  Kill GARY GLITTER & Other Pedifiles

  by Ms. Whip in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  do you remember that 70's jock jam song "hey!

  " that you hear before every football or basketball game?

  thats gary glitter's glam hit.

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  Ms. Whip

  I heared that they are not putting up xmas decorations in Vietnam this year, they are going to hang Glitter instead

  haha Ellie, That was such a good one and i missed it!! gotta love a twisted sense of humor! *muah*
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  8

  Would YOU Buy A Used Car From This Man?

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  this is darryl g. monroe, formerly of san quentin university.

  upon graduation from said institute of higher learning, darryl embarked upon a career of enlightment as a previously owned motorcar dealer.

  having found his experience as a student at san quentin u a bit too confining, darryl vowed he would enjoy the fresh air and open spaces.

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  Ms. Whip

  Nate, I mean Darryl,

  I'll be the first one to stick my neck out.

  Based on looks alone...I know nothing about you...and i swear only peeked at one sentence in your book.

  You look like a fun, kind, generous to a fault guy. You are happy and content and full of life. You could be a car salesman or a book salesman...you could be anything. I think you'd even be happy living in a tent. Maybe it was the university that did that for you.

  At any rate, if you offered me candy or asked for help to find your lost puppy...i'd be there. If i were getting ice out of your freezer for a drink, i wouldn't blink at the human body part sticking out from behind the birds eye peas.

  To steal a line from an 80's song: "You've got that Whip Appeal...So work it on me"
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  25

  Did You Know A Lot Of Witnesses That Were A "Little Fruit Loops"?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did, i was thinking of how many jws are either a little weird, a bit eccentric or even borderline crazy!

  we had one man in our hall that used to love giving people he liked duck eggs.

  he'd try to get you to eat them before meetings for field service.

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  Ms. Whip

  There was one very elderly sister who went out in service every single day. She was quite a sweet ole thing, and said the same jokes- every day- all day. And there only about three, being- (At street signs) "'Dead End'- Ha! What killed it???" "Ah look- 'Slow Children'- Poor things!" "'School Crossing'- Where's it going?"

  damn! i thought those were original!

  There was a fruitcake in the congo who believed that jehovah controlled the world in an automated impersonal way by using two massive super computers, one for controlling humans and the other the angels.

  *bubble pops* WTF??? You mean it isn't true??? ....so much to learn on JWD....so little time! -ms. whip (of the fruitloops class)